Project Management Quotes of the Week

Project Teams Say The Darndest Things

I will be presentering today.

My brain works better when my fingers and my brain are talking to each other

From a client: No, that’s not a can of worms. It’s a 55-gallon drum of worms.

I thought I had my ducks in a row, but they ran afowl. I swear, I didn’t mean it that way when I first said it.

I feel out of the loop, mostly because there isn’t a loop.

Via email from a vendor: “What time is the 9:00 meeting tomorrow?”

I will be project managering this.” # NoMore5:30AMKickoffCall

I was deep in thought, but I was deep in thought out loud.

I have the power of the Polycom.

Client Quote of the Week: “We want you to provide the project management services to implement … you know … the thing.” (First task = Scope Definition)

Debbie: There seems to be some background noise on the call.
Keith: That was me talkin’

We can’t give you an ETA on the ETA.

Q: “How did you gain consensus on this?”
A: “With more than a little difficulty.”

It could be anything, but it has to be something, so that’s what I’m going to base my estimate on.

They are doing a high level deep dive on this.

My project management style is a little like kiddie bowling. I don’t care if we bounce off of the rubber bumpers occasionally, as long as we knock down the pins in the end.

I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’ll do it!

I know we are here, but I don’t know where here is.

A month ago, we thought it was a good idea. But it turned out, well, not so much.

The software is readier than what it was. It’s working-er, but not quite working.

That’s the new one, but not the new, new one.

I try less and less every day to understand what they’re saying.

I am passionately indifferent about this.

It’s driving me crazy hearing myself speaking.

Client Quote of the Week “As the project sponsor, can I NOT be on that call???”

Vendor Quote of the Week: “If there is a solution, then this becomes something that is solvable.”

It’s half done, well, no, maybe not that much. Put it at 50% instead.

​PM: “This could be bigger than a breadbox.”  Project team member:  “What’s a ‘breadbox’?!?!?

Healthcare IT Project Manager Word of the Week:  Vaccinize.  http://v.tr. To vaccinate and immunize at the same time.

Our go/no go just ended, and it was a maybe.

From an Integrations vendor during a Steering Committee Meeting: “I wouldn’t say it was wrong, I’d just say it wasn’t right.”

They’ve been doing it this way so long, if we applied any logic to their workflow, it would completely mess up their workflow.

We are like Michaelangelo trying to carve the marble, just hoping we don’t cut off a nose or a finger.

It’s not like there aren’t a million Secret Service Agents around if our car battery dies.

Go Live Quote of the Day (at dinner following a 4:30 am start): Waiter: We have the Sunday special. Me: OK, what day is it?

I think what you are asking might be different than what you are asking.

We need a communication that will say something to somebody.

From a client: We included money in the budget for project management, so that you can do ….. er, um ….. whatever it is you do.

We don’t need to treat it any differently, other than it’s completely different.

I had a train of thought going, but it derailed.

From a client to someone who shall remain nameless: “I’d like to ask your opinion on this because, well, you have opinions on everything.”

Hardware readiness……it’s a pickle.

Why would you want to automate a broken process?

I can make it big-big, but not wide-wide.

We turned that server off 2 months ago to see if anyone noticed. No one noticed.

I thought I was wrong, but I was wrong about being wrong. So, I guess that made me right.

HR Project Quote of the Week: “We do have some normal people who work here.”

I nerd out on project plans.

It’s nearly completely complete.

This is none of my business, so let me speak.

It doesn’t matter where we start, as long as we know where we are at.

Project Management Quote of the Week: Client: “What are you going to be for Halloween?” Keith: “An IT Project Manager.” Client: “Oooh, that’s terrifying.”

I don’t want to have to re-invent the wheel, twice.

Can ‘we’ in the ‘you’ sense of the word do this task?

I don’t know if I should be skeptical or not.
Is there anything I should do to prepare for the conference call we are on right now?

I’m very flexible, as long as I get exactly what I want when I want it.

I am quagmired in the quagmire of the data.

 …but in reality, we don’t follow our total lack of downtime procedures.

This task is going to be ongoing until it’s not.

Next, I will templatize the templates.

I saw I was myself, and I was a little concerned.

It was just a combination of everything combined together.

I’m really making inroads into my wine.

Client Quote of the Week: “No one can escape you guys.”

My fingers are not typing what my brain is saying.

There was a lack of incorrect information in this.

I called him earlier this week. Oh, wait, today is Monday.

This will be a project to implement … something.

We won’t be at 100% complete until we are done.

You’ll either be here at the same time as me, later than me, or earlier than me.

I’m getting faster with these spreadsheets. I’m Excelerating.

I thought I saw an open window, but it turned out I was like a bird that flew into the window pane.

I was thinking that I wasn’t thinking.

We thought we had a plan, but it turned out we didn’t.

It’s more encouraging ambiguity than we had before.

It is a disastrophy.

Well, it is complete, but it’s not, you know, complete.

I have a question about the data in the data.

We’re not meddling, we’re consulting.

From 9 to about 2:30 it was a kerfuffling pickle spitting up hairballs. And then the clouds parted.

Any time colonoscopies become the basis of comparison for what you are implementing, your project is in trouble.

Do we really have to print the whole document? Paper doesn’t grow on trees you know.

Once the approver-person approves it, then it’s approved.

It’s a regulatory regulated regulation.

I don’t pretend to understand technology, I just project manage it.

We can’t ‘not be following the process’ since we are making it up as we go along.

When a vendor says their product is “plug and play,” it’s usually not. Just so ya know.

Client Quote of the Week (while we were helping the CTO prepare a presentation): “I’ll say whatever you want me to say. I am your parrot.”

Client Quote of the Week: “I’m glad you are losing sleep over this project, so I don’t have to.”

Failure is not an option. Unless we fail. Then, it’s an option. But it’s still not a good one.

From a client: “You have the ability to ask a question while pretending you don’t already know the answer. But I mean that in the nicest way.”

Nobody cares about the project charter until they care about it.

It usually works for 90% of the time, but that 1 out of 10 times, it’s 10% of the time.

I’m not bossy. I just have strong leadership skills.

If there is a change that needs to be made in the future, then we’d need to make that change in the future.

Oh …so the headings at the top of the spreadsheet actually mean something!”

Today, I had to not only project manage …. I had to do math, too. Oh, the horror of it all. My brain is full.

I put you on this meeting only so that you could watch someone elses’ project crash and burn.

This project is a kefuffling hairball.

The product is pretty much product-tized.

Project Managers are the most difficult people on earth to have on a project team

Vendor Quote of the Week: You can “leverage synergistic pricing across the full spectrum.”

I opened up a can of worms, and I don’t like worms.

Whiskey is better than coffee anyway.

Project Management is professional nagging.

Yesterday, tomorrow was today, which makes today today, correct?

We’re 10 minutes into Happy Hour for the East-Coasters, and for the over-zealous West Coasters.

Don’t ‘done’ that task yet.

I’m better at chiming in than keeping quiet, I’ve learned.

I spent some time figuring out how far behind I am, and now that I know, I feel a lot better……I think.

Tell me if this idea is crazy or brilliant. I can’t tell which.

I’m not doing anything, except what I am doing.

By ‘leveraging the resource’ do you really mean ‘send in the canary’?
When we’re finished with this, we will be finished.

“Did you know ‘gullible’ isn’t in the dictionary?”    “No, seriously!?!”

We have done run out of all our meds.

 We are learning something new in our brains.

All projects have a start and end date. Unless they don’t.

Thank goodness thought bubbles only happen in cartoons. I’d be in deep doo-doo if they happened in real life.

I have to manage my own expectations.

I’ll call when I get there, because then I’ll be wherever I am.

I can’t document a key decision until they actually MAKE a key decision.

It’s the 90/20 rule, where 90% of the people won’t use , and 20% will, but those 20% will be the most vocal if it doesn’t work.

The diamond got nost in the loise.

I am my own time zone.

My meeting request just went viral.

I know who she is, and she knows who I is.

Hospital Revenue Cycle Management – It’s a pickle.

Said during an Interface call: “We’re just dealing with all types of 25s here.”

So if we decide on this, we have to decide on it.

Client: “We have Project Managers to execute.”

My mouth was talking faster than my brain was thinking.

I am here, but I’m not there.

You couldn’t see my eyes roll because I was on mute.

When I went into my office this morning, there was music coming out of the printer! I think the paper was jammin’.

Vendor Quote of the Week: “Let’s not consider it an issue. Let’s consider it a ‘solution opportunity’.”

A printer cannot produce a label if there are not labels in the printer.

I aim to be amusing in my floundering.
It made sense in my head when I said it.

Vendor Quote of the Week:
Client: “The App is very flakey.”
Vendor: “It’s working as designed then.”
Yup, it’s true. A direct quote.

‘Oy’ is one of my all-time favorite words. Ever. It says so much with only 2 letters.

I was listening intently for the first 30 seconds.

I like going back and forth between screens because it makes me feel like I’m doing something.

But I like to test in PROD.

I was multi-tasking, so I couldn’t answer your question about multi-tasking.

If things aren’t standardized, then they won’t be standard.

We have now entered the phase of the project known as the ‘Whack-a-mole” phase. (PS: For all you PMI certified project managers, this will be included in the next PMP exam as an official phase)

The one thing we know, is that today is today.

Well, it’s done, but it’s just not completely done.

You’re never alone with GoToMeeting.
Go-Live Quote of the Day: “All gripes, no issues.”

My ducks aren’t in a row, but they all are at least in the same pond.

Go-Live Quote of the Day: “We only have two printers in our department. One is broken, and the other is on the fritz.”

I am … well …. I’m wherever I am.

Is today the first, or is tomorrow the second?

Your stuff is breaking my stuff.

In the system, true dups will cancel. Almost dups will not.

We’ll stay until we go.

Ah, I remember the email. I got the email. I read the first paragraph. You probably wanted me to read the whole thing.

Has the horse left the barn on that?!? I’ve scanned the horizon, and I can’t even SEE the horse anymore!

I color-coded my project timeline in Visio. It looks a little like a rainbow exploded.

Everyone here in this room exists already.

If we need the data, then we need it. But if we don’t need it, then we don’t. Unless we do later, in which case we’ll need it.

You have to be smarter than the pager.

If we don’t start taking some steps forward, we won’t get anywhere, and here isn’t where we want to be.

Techie Quote of the Week: “Firmware is the thing on the thing.”

I can be more specific once I have the specifics.

It will be confusing until it’s not.

This is final until it changes.

It’s Day 2 of go-live, and I don’t hate my life, so it must be going well.

I was wondering ….um……I wonder what I was wondering.

I am so confused I don’t even know what I am confused about.

I’m thinking ……. I just can’t remember what about.

We joke and we kid, but it’s all just varying levels of awesomeness.

Why am I not here?

What do I know that you don’t know?

Hey….my wireless mouse isn’t working right. Oh….. wait. I had it backwards. It works now.

Something somewhere is doing something in shouldn’t be…..or maybe it should be.

I saw your email. I didn’t read it, but it was nicely formatted.

I think you are confusing me, but I’m not sure.

I can’t remember what it is that I’m trying to remember.

I know that October is generally a month long.

Sales Quote of the Week: “If the software had the ability to do this, then yes, you would be able to do that.”

It seemed like it was a good idea when it was just in my head.

This won’t be critical until it’s critical.

All of my ideas are good ones. Except the ones that aren’t.

I can’t roll this office chair forward. Part of the problem is that my feet aren’t touching the ground.

If you need to move a server from one data center to another, it’s best to call on a blade runner.

I was thinking, but then I got confused. So I stopped thinking.

They were supposed to connect the dots and make a tree. But they connected the dots and made an alligator instead.

It’s clear in my brain, but I’m not sure it’s clear for everyone who’s not in my brain.

Trillium Professional Services will help you implement your strategic plan. And if you don’t have one, we’ll help you implement that too.

Taking notes in design meetings with system engineers makes me feel like Siri on a Glasgow subway.

This is meant to fix a problem we never had.

Reading through all that data is thirsty work. I’m parsed.

…then the sooner the later this can happen.
I’m trying to embrace the crazy more than normal.

From a client:  “I was talking with my boss, and the thought of doing this without Trillium made me shiver. Can you send me a Statement of Work right away?”

I’d like to get this done last month.

From a vendor: “It’s really not a bug, more like an unsupported feature.”

Not only is the juice not worth the squeeze, but the squeeze would be painful and the juice would be bad.

There are no boundaries when it comes to bacon.

You know what I mean, even if I don’t, right?

We’ll fall off that bridge when we come to it.

We have a couple of different, conflicting realities going on here.

I don’t think we are on any of the ‘what do you want to be when you grow up’ lists.

I’m in IT. I know blinky red lights aren’t a good thing.

Vendor Quote of the Week: “An issue is just a negative benefit.”

Pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone is for the birds.

I did it, and I’m not dead.

I’m confused, so I must be learning something.

That legacy system is not gone enough.

We need to reach a consensus on whether we can reach a consensus. Or not.

My mouth should have been muted, and it was not.

Did I do what I was supposed to do when I was supposed to do it?

The reason for leaving the PCs on is so that they are not off. (from a sys admin)

If the interface engine isn’t sending the data quite right, we’ll jiggle the handle a little.

I will wait until you tell me to go or not to go before I go or don’t go anywhere.

Vendor Quote of the Week: “We will try to be more consistent moving forward, so that we have less inconsistency moving forward.”

The first thing we need to do, is figure out the first thing we need to do.

I was distracted by the previous question. What is the new question?

We need a strategy around our strategy.

I have an idea. It’s either a good one or a bad one.

I thought I replied to your email, but maybe I only did it in my mind.

We have to extract information from them, without understanding a word of what they are saying.

We don’t have an implementation timeline because we don’t know what we are implementing.

We need to document the plan for data archiving and backuping.

The rational was sound, but it was not realistic.

We must be missing something, because it seems like things are going OK.

This could take anywhere from 30 minutes to 1/2 an hour.

If I forgot it, it’s because I didn’t remember it.

The Wireless Access Points are still mooing.

I have some thoughts that I need to get out of my brain.

Let me clarify your clarification of Susie’s clarification.

What are we doing with that meeting? I think the rabbits came into play.